Thursday, March 23, 2006

Love yourself and attend current relationships

For Belieftnet, Thomas Moore answers a question from a lesbian in an unfilling relationship, who has fallen in love with a married woman. Kim writes, "I really just don't know what to do with these feelings and how to be happy again. There's an emptiness that I can't seem to fill."

In his response which may be helpful to others too, regardless of sexual orientation, Thomas Moore says,
"At one time in our lives, most of us feel the pain of loving someone who is not available or who doesn't have the feelings for us we wish they had. You probably understand that it is self-centered and usually futile to force you attentions on such a person. The most difficult lesson in love is to protect the freedom of the one you love."
Moore then recommends approaches for Kim to generate love in her life, albeit in ways that may expand the initial response to her sense of emptiness.:
1. Attend to your friends, especially those whom you have neglected.
2. Reflect on your work: Is it fulfilling? Are there outlets for creativity?
3. Care for your body and your home.
4. Offer volunteer services to your community.
5. Look at thoughts with a little distance: Consider your current relationship before embarking on a new one.
6. Focus on yourself as your own person, not necessarily as a partner in a twosome.
Beliefnet readers are encouraged to post their own reflections.

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