Moore comes to Toronto for I Can Do It! event
Labels: Care of the Soul in Medicine, Event, Thomas Moore
Projects by American author of Care of the Soul, Soul Mates, Soul of Sex, Soul’s Religion, Dark Nights of the Soul, A Life at Work, Writing in the Sand, Care of the Soul in Medicine, The Guru of Golf
Labels: Care of the Soul in Medicine, Event, Thomas Moore
Labels: Home, Soul, Thomas Moore
Labels: Jesus, Thomas Moore
Labels: Interview, Thomas Moore
"The most stirring songs of the season, "O Holy Night" and "Silent Night," and the popular verse-tale "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" explore the emotion of night, especially this night on which light once again shows itself. We honor this mythic night full of hopeful appearances – angels with their song, flying reindeer, kings bearing gifts of gold and spices, a lowly stable aflame with the brilliant arrival of the divine child.In the 2003 article, Moore also writes,
Historically, Christmas was heavily influenced by the Roman festival of Saturnalia, a time of revelry and feasting when the burden of rules was suspended and values were turned upside down. Its arrival reminds us of certain values that we forget during the rest of the year. Why not learn from Christmas Saturnalia to be more forgiving and less moralistic, not to justify our existence by hard work alone but to find meaning in play and celebration, and to give more of ourselves to our children?"
"I like to speak of the soul of Christmas as well as its spirit. The soul of Christmas is low, embodied, tolerant, diverse, not always virtuous but humorous and earthy. The soulful side of Christmas comes forth in the preparation of family and community meals and the reenactment of traditional customs. I think we have it right when we go shopping, make cookies, sing carols, and trim trees. We might deepen these traditions by giving thoughtful, heartfelt gifts, contacting old friends, and giving more than usual attention to children. And we should all give each other--adults and children--at least one toy, as a symbol of our retreat from seriousness, ambition, and work. It honors the child in the manger, who is not an image of silly, naive childishness, but of new life, hope, fresh vision, and imagination."Moore includes ideas that appear in his book, Writing in the Sand, published last year:
"The Jesus of religion is not a mere philosopher or teacher. He comes from another reality, and so at his birth there is no room for him at the inn, an image of accepted human society. He is comforted by animals, received by shepherds, and acknowledged by kings and wizards. By nature he is outside the box of normality.
To take him to heart requires being outside the box yourself, discovering that when you think radically about love as a basis for life and culture, there will be no room in the inn for you. You will be eccentric, ostracized perhaps, and eventually even crucified. You will be like some Gnostic visitor, someone who fell to earth to awaken those who have fallen asleep and have forgotten the wisdom that would make human life effective."
Labels: Jesus, Thomas Moore
Thomas Moore’s collection of short stories, The Guru of Golf and Other Stories about the Game of Life will be available in 2010.Labels: Guru of Golf, Thomas Moore
"When I was ten years old, I saw the sci-fi film The Day the Earth Stood Still. It’s about a man who comes to Earth in a space ship to tell the warring governments of Earth not to bring their conflicts out into space. Like a Gnostic messenger, he travels here to warn human beings to change their way of life.The passage concludes, "And when we break free of our thought patterns, we’ll be able to see Jesus’ purpose as not to form a religion but to transform the world, not to exploit this life for a heavenly reward but to establish heaven on earth."
This movie version of what was a short story consciously draws parallels to the story of Jesus. I have always been inspired by the movie, but I would rather bring its spirit of renewal to our understanding of Jesus than see Christ themes in the film. The point of Jesus’ mission is not to draw attention to himself but to transform the way human beings live.”
Labels: Excerpt, Thomas Moore, Writing in the Sand
Labels: Soul Mates, Thomas Moore
Labels: Thomas Moore, Writing in the Sand
Labels: Thomas Moore
Labels: Care of the Soul, Spirituality
"To do soul work we must face the challenge illness poses to our sense of control and worth in the world. Our automatic inclination is to meet the challenge by fighting the illness with the best medical interventions available. At one level this is necessary, but in spite of all appearances it is not the road to health. The road to health requires soul work that moves beyond automatic patterns of thinking, feeling, and acting. Soul work involves opening to the experience of illness and allowing the experience to open our heart (our emotional centre). Soul work is done as we review our life story and deepen our consciousness of who we are, how we are living, and what our vocation or mission in life is. Soul work takes us beneath the surface of the illness experience and connects us deeply to ourselves, to others who care about us, and to the Sacred Mystery that embraces all of life.On page 6 of the same issue, Laure Salo reviews Thomas Moore's Dark Nights of the Soul: A Guide to Finding Your Way Through Life's Ordeals for the book section, "Between The Covers". Salo writes,
Soul work is tough and difficult to do alone, but through it we can create a quiet space in the midst of chaos for choosing how to live through a loss of health in meaningful and loving ways. Soul work is the path to health. When soul work is engaged, healing may occur even without a cure."
"Thomas says, "Every human life is made up of the light and the dark, the happy and the sad, the vital and the deadening. How you think about this rhythm of moods makes all the difference." In this book, Thomas considers many kinds of dark nights, cites many personal experiences, and relates wisdom, and insights gained from many well-known personalities including Bogart, Keats, Anne Sexton, and of course, John of the Cross. He indicates that there are many ways to deal with them: pills, psychotherapy, expert advice, spiritual guidance, books and tapes, workshops, churches, communities, government guidelines and spas. However, he seems to believe these are all suggestions to "get out of the darkness quickly" He is suggesting, alternatively, "The real task is to live in, and with, the darkness, appreciating its unredeemed value, and loving its irreversible qualities. What is needed is a view of life that includes the dark. ... that insight may not heal you or give you the sense of being whole, but it may give you some intelligence about life." I appreciated the challenge this book presents, and the wise, refreshing insights offered.
It reminded me of the book, The Spirituality of Imperfection. Storytelling and the Journey to Wholeness, by Ernest Kurtz (Author of Not-God) and Katherine Ketcham.
I thought these books worth mentioning as well:
Wherever You Go There You Are: Mindfulness meditations in everyday life by Jon Kabat-Zinn. He has also written Full Catastrophe Living and Coming To Our Senses.
The Voice Of Knowledge, a Toltec Wisdom Book, by Don Miguel Ruiz. He has also written The Four Agreements, and A Companion To The Four Agreements. This is translated from Spanish, and seems to be in a style of speaking that is quite delightful."
Labels: Dark Nights of the Soul, Thomas Moore
Labels: Contribution, Education, Thomas Moore
Labels: Interview, Writing in the Sand
Labels: A Life at Work, Interview
"More than three-hundred people came to hear Dr. Thomas Moore, bestselling author and practicing psychologist, speak about spirituality and relationships during a fascinating evening talk co-hosted by Antioch New England and MAPS Counseling Services. Moore has an easy, relaxed delivery style that kept the crowd listening intently to his thoughtful insights about the nature of love, the soul, spirituality in the modern world, and the joys and difficulties of relationships.Thomas Moore has appeared on The Oprah Show, The Today Show, Good Morning America, and Sunday Morning on CBS.
Dr. Moore uses his wide reading, deep erudition, and wry humor to explore what it means to be a spiritual being in the modern world. He joked that when people are disappointed to hear he has not read a particular author, he tells them he does not read anything written in the last five hundred years. While it’s true that he does often cite Heraclitus, Erasmus, or Buddha, he is also well-versed in the writings of Carl Jung…"
Labels: Event, Relationships, Spirituality, Thomas Moore
"It's the business of religion to turn things upside down. Indeed, the proper language of religion is paradox. Many people think of spirituality as a higher level of the world they know, but the traditions teach that as a person matures, he has to learn about the opposite side of everything he has come to understand. Jesus suggests that the poor are the really rich ones. And according to current Biblical scholars, the story of the Good Samaritan is not just about seeing your neighbor in someone from another culture or race. It shows that the most unlikely and despised people, not we spiritual types, may be the very ones practicing spiritual ideals like compassion. In religion, the whole world is upside down."Moore’s new book Writing in the Sand, about the soul of the Gospels, will be released in May 2009.
...
"The paradoxes of religion and the spiritual traditions are not just intellectual surprises; they are a challenge for you to move in a direction that may be far different from the one you know and love. They ask you to have it in mind to consider the opposite of what may seem common sense, or the opposite to what has identified you for years. The flipping over of your vision, metanoia, may be the most difficult thing in life."
Labels: Thomas Moore, Writing in the Sand
"Forty years have passed since that morning of decision, and I have tried to follow the monastic ideals in my own way. I continue to enrich my layperson married writer’s life with the Servite spirit. But little by little, all that religion has become invisible in my life and personality. If you looked closely at me and my life, you wouldn’t see the things that typically identify a religious person, but in my own view I am more Catholic, more religious, and more spiritual than ever.Moore concludes, "I thank God for the gift of being invited one fateful autumn day into a bigger world and a larger sense of religion."
So, it seems that I didn’t leave the order that morning, nor did I leave the Church. On the contrary, I have been moving farther into it. Today, I lecture and give sermons in churches of every denomination. The Church is not a building, not a creed, not a membership, not an authority, not even a community, unless it is the community of all beings. It’s a vision, expressed in values and action, shared with the entire world.
Being in the Church and maintaining the monastic spirit in my life means being more engaged with life itself, more connected to the community of the world, and catholic — meaning universal, openly engaged in every moment, in every place, with every thing. I know that I have not created this path. It was laid out there for me from the beginning. I had only to accept the invitation to follow it. I know it isn’t for everyone, probably for very few. I haven’t the slightest need to convert anyone to it. I don’t even understand it."
Labels: Religion, Thomas Moore
"One of our problems is that we are so numb to violence that we assume it is the natural way to deal with international conflicts. A first step toward sanity might be to imagine alternative strategies. I am aware that many groups of professionals are already working hard at such strategies, but if a fresh imagination were to come from the realm of psychology, it might have special effect."Moore offers seven questions to groups considering alternatives. He concludes:
"Unless psychology engages these difficult questions of the real world, it is left with what Sandor Fereczi might label "masturbatory activities." We take pleasure in playing idly with our own toys and our own body of interests. It's time to break through the shell and take on the world with the insights of our profession."Read Moore's post and contribute answers to his thoughtful questions.
Labels: Event
Labels: Writing in the Sand
Labels: A Life at Work, Interview
Labels: Books, Thomas Moore
"People often refer to the process of becoming a better person as "growth." They go to conferences so they can grow, and they see challenges as opportunities for growth. Years ago I read an essay by James Hillman in which he expressed his distaste for this metaphor. I was convinced and ever since have avoided the word. It tends to be sentimental and doesn't accurately describe what we go through. For one thing, not growing is just as relevant - being stuck, failing, and making mistakes all help a great deal in your becoming a rich and complex person.Moore includes the role of dreams and the need to explore unexamined spaces, before sharing a personal turn with readers.
I prefer to see personal development as the discovery of a new room in the soul, some area of life that has great potential but has just been found. When I see a person on the threshold of such a turn, I imagine him facing a doorway that he has to enter with some courage and abandon. It might be a new self that is being offered as an expansion or complexifying of who he is. This is not growth, not a steady evolution; rather, it's a turn, an angular move in a new direction."
"What is required more than anything in choosing life over death is self-confrontation - facing your fears and resistances, sorting out all the emotions and possibilities and relationships, which then allows you to make a move and complete the turn. You may have to face the fact that you have a long and abiding anger or that you are inwardly roiling with envy or jealousy. These emotions may hinder your move into new life, and so you have to acknowledge them, feel them, and let them work on you. There is usually a big price to pay for entry into a new room of the soul.In the last issue of Spirituality and Health this year, Moore responds to his column title, "Leaving the Church?"
. . .
For a long time in my own life, I tried to avoid the room of the soul that had a sign on it that read "Parenthood." I argued convincingly with friends that it was not in my imagination to have children. Then my stepson appeared, and then my daughter. It has been a very good room in which to dwell. I didn't grow into being a father; I took a sharp turn in my life and built an addition.
Dreams don't say much about growing, but they show all kinds of ways to keep adding to your home. The expansion requires imagination, risk, cost, and creativity, but its reward is a deeply satisfying way of life. You will have the structure and emotional environment in which to thrive."
"Fundamentalism in religion is a defensive move that comes from fear of the other. Those who believe that God is on their side, that whatever they say is divinely sanctioned and it’s their right to force it on the world, become violent and aggressive in defending their anxious beliefs. But rather than vilify fundamentalists, I think it would be more effective to admit we are all fundamentalists on some level. We all adhere to certain beliefs and language. Such fundamentalisms get in the way of an open and adventurous spiritual life..."For this year’s book with Moore’s foreword, a description includes, "The stories in Leaving Fundamentalism provide a personal and intimate look behind sermons, religious services, and church life, and promote an understanding of those who have been deeply involved in the conservative Christian church. These autobiographies come from within the congregations and homes of religious fundamentalists, where their highly idealized faith, in all its complexities and problems, meets the reality of everyday life. Told from the perspective of distance gained by leaving fundamentalism, each story gives the reader a snapshot of what it is like to go through the experiences, thoughts, feelings, passions, and pains that, for many of the writers, are still raw."
Labels: Contribution, Foreword, Thomas Moore
"I've heard some commentators say that [Sarah Palin] lacks gravitas. Yes, I thought, a degree of intellectual and emotional weight is necessary in a leader, and leadership is what these elections are about. Sometimes you have to remind yourself of that fact. I see gravitas in Barack Obama, and I've watched George W. Bush struggle with it for eight years. He reaches for it, but it slips away in his folksiness and in the lightness of his thought.Read Moore’s entire post and comment if you have want to share thoughts with Care of the Soul readers.
But our leaders are mirrors of ourselves, and so I wonder about the gravitas of the American people. I often spend time in Ireland and find the people there quite different from Americans. Their heart is more tender and present in public life. They respond as a country in a felt way to people in need, and yet they also have gravitas. You only have to read the national newspapers there and see the intelligence and weight of ideas and respect for thought and language. Our newspapers are becoming lighter and lighter. Soon they will only be a collection of headlines and an assortment of opinionated, inflamed positions and attacks."
. . .
"But gravitas is only one side of a whole picture. The other side is lightness and humor. I haven't seen much humor among the candidates for election and I wonder if that is not due to the lack of gravitas. Good gravitas and good humor go together."
Labels: Gravitas, Humor, Thomas Moore
"If growers, packagers and sellers would treat food as having great potential for meaning, we might think more about eating moderately and healthfully. We might discover the power of food to cultivate friendships and family. We might appreciate its capacity to foster the all-important virtue of conviviality. Possessed of that virtue, the joy in being cohabitants of the planet, we might understand our role in making sure that the children of the world never go hungry.Throughout the piece, Moore draws on his practice of psychotherapy to show food’s role in cultivating soul.
ANOTHER WAY FOOD contributes to conviviality is in its extraordinary power to make the pleasures of ethnic diversity concrete and sensual. Is it the physical organism or the soul that craves an Italian dinner one night and Indian the next? The taste and colour and texture of food evoke a people and a style of life, and everyone, at any place on the globe, can be enriched as a person by tasting foreign food.”
. . .
But unfortunately imagination is not high among our priorities. When we turn food into a mere object, we tend to abuse it and abuse ourselves with it. We substitute quantity for quality. We don’t have a sensual experience of food, and therefore we eat too much. Our imagination is ‘out to lunch’, and so we stuff our bodies. We don’t value the role of food in our friendships and families, and therefore we tolerate the fast, unconscious, ungraceful ingestion of solids and liquids that today passes for dining."
Labels: Food, Soul, Thomas Moore
Labels: Contribution, Thomas Moore
"A traumatic event invites us to cultivate our relationship to the sacred. It requires our imagination to take a quantum leap. It demands that we move toward a new sense of what it means to be human. We have to surrender to something at some level. But not naively. I think what modernism has done is to separate spirituality from science, our hearts from our minds. It’s time to get over that and be very intelligent about the way we surrender. The truth is so much bigger than either science or religion alone."Neale Donald Walsch's quote, about letting things fall apart, follows Moore's reflection.
Labels: Thomas Moore
"... a bundle of ideas, memories, attitudes, emotions, passions, and habits focused on a theme — for example, the "inferiority complex." This theme can take over a person and affect how he feels and understands his situation. Talk to a person with an inferiority complex, and no matter how much you praise his talents and accomplishments, he will still feel inadequate. A complex is not reasonable and is not susceptible to reasonable argument. One aspect of a complex is that a person makes reasonable-sounding statements that actually are the complex speaking.In the September-October issue, Moore writes about the shock of changing life directions and for November-December, "Leaving the Church?"
...
A complex is mostly unconscious, so the person talking has no idea that he or she is being controlled like a puppet by a deep-seated emotional obsession. Friends and lovers of such a person may know too well that something is wrong, but they have no idea what to do about it.
Psychologists often advise to "go with the symptom." Don’t try to get rid of it or urge its opposite. It’s better to take the symptom as given, and try to deepen it. Therefore, to a friend with an inferiority complex, you could say, "It’s extraordinary how much I don’t know about my field, and yet I get along pretty well." A person caught in an inferiority complex may need to discover that we all are ignorant of many things, all incapable and prone to error. Inferior means lower, and the inferiority complex may signal that a person has to join the human race.
It’s interesting how often the complex hides its polar opposite. The inferior person doesn’t let on how superior he feels deep down.
...
We could all deal with the highly neurotic human condition by thinking more subtly about what is being said in all of our interactions."
Labels: Thomas Moore
Labels: Forgiveness
"Life’s practical jokes: About three years ago I was sitting at my desk, minding my own business, when I received an invitation to speak to career counselors in San Francisco. It takes a lot to get me away from home, but I was beguiled by the man who invited me, and a few months later, there I was, speaking about work and career in the language of myth and alchemy to a very large audience of professionals. From their response, I quickly knew that going deeper into the roots of work would be a live issue.Join the free Barque: Thomas Moore Forum to participate in the current online course based on Moore’s A Life at Work.
What I didn’t know was that my own work life was about to go into crisis: I discovered that much of the money I had made on widely read books had vanished into some economic black hole. Then an editor asked me to recreate myself as a communicator, something I’ve never aspired to. Then the publication date of my next book was pushed off and off, and with no money coming in, I sought help and advice, and none was forthcoming. So in the midst of a work crisis, I wrote my new book, A Life at Work, exploring the confusion and anxiety I was experiencing.
The alchemical idea of work — work on your soul and your life — and the idea of work as a job are linked. All work has an aspect of calling, and sometimes the career or job you’ve had all your life isn’t the activity that defines you. You may find more meaning being a parent, traveling, volunteering, gardening, or playing a sport. Your life work may not be one thing but rather a mix. Work may change several times during your life, and many “jobs” may occupy you at one time. Whatever form work takes, you need the sense that what you’re doing makes life worth living."
Labels: A Life at Work, Thomas Moore
Labels: Religion, Soul, Spirituality, Thomas Moore
Labels: Event, Forgiveness, Thomas Moore
"Renaissance philosophers said that you don’t have to be pagan to appreciate the spirituality of Nature. These various gods and goddesses are facets, they said, of the God many honour as the monotheistic source of life and meaning. In other words, you see God when you stop to wonder at a copper sunset or a misty moon. Nature is the avenue towards nurturing your spirit. It is the way in which the divine most powerfully shows itself.Moore suggests reconciliation between monotheists and pagans: "As long as we keep spirituality and the material world separated, the Earth will be threatened," while offering short prayers and rituals to shake the unconsciousness of our times.
There is a tendency, even among environmentalists, to adopt the 20th-century way of seeing Nature, as a source of material commodities needed for the heroic building of culture. But that isn’t sufficient motivation for preserving Nature, because it doesn’t address our essence: what we need to survive as humans. We are people of body, soul and spirit. We need constant feeding of our vision, moral sensibility and piety, and if Nature is at all diminished, our spirituality goes into eclipse."
Labels: Nature, Spirituality, Thomas Moore
"In The Power of Forgiveness, a new book based on the film by Martin Doblmeier..., author Kenneth Briggs presents a conversation of a better way of dealing with anger, resentment and violence through reconciliation and the complex, yet healing, patterns that emerge from the subject of forgiveness."Briggs will talk about these issues on Wednesday, March 12 at 9 a.m. at the National Press Club, 529 14th Street NW, 13th Floor, Washington D.C. where he’ll be joined by Moderator, Sally Quinn of the Washington Post, Thomas Moore, and Martin Doblmeier. In addition to his film appearance, Moore is interviewed in the new book.
Labels: Event, Forgiveness, Thomas Moore
"There has to be a solution that takes both of your sensitivities into account. You could alternate forms of saying grace. Maybe a moment of silent blessing or thanksgiving would feel all right to him [the boyfriend]. Or, maybe you could say your grace occasionally, and have no grace at other times.Moore’s February column addresses timing - when should a relationship become exclusive? After meeting online and being together with her boyfriend for six weeks, a woman wants to know if their dating profiles should be removed from the online service. Moore says,
These solutions may seem mechanical. They are part of the experiment of finding out how to share a life with someone who has different values and views. Eventually, you may discover a deeper spiritual commonality, where you don't have to work at being mutually respectful. It will just happen.
Creating a good relationship entails some challenging learning on both sides. You may have to reconsider some of your childhood ideas about religion and religious practices. In that regard, your boyfriend's annoyance may have something to teach you. For his part, your boyfriend may have to learn religious tolerance and a deeper appreciation for spiritual traditions. In other words, this conflict has something important to give to each of you. It all depends how maturely you work it out."
"The mere fact that you are asking if it’s time to get serious makes me think that you’re not quite ready yet. In matters of the heart, you many never be completely certain...He concludes, "I can’t give you a magic number of weeks or months for when you'll be ready to have this inner conversation, not to mention talking about it with your boyfriend. You'll just have to follow the calendar of your heart."
I say give it a little more time until you feel clearer and don’t have to ask your question. You will know from your feelings that it’s time to take your name off the dating list."
Labels: Thomas Moore
"I define religion at its best as a positive and effective means of relating to the mysteries that define our lives: love, death, birth, illness, marriage, and work, to name a few. A twenty-first century mentality sees these not simply as areas of normal living or as problems with which one must deal but also as mysteries. A twenty-first century religion sanctifies them with sacraments, rituals, sacred stories, and sometimes guardian spirits. The arts serve this kind of religion by giving us strong images for contemplation, for reflecting on the life-defining mysteries, and for educating ourselves so we can live them out more creatively."He mentions the book Dars´an: Seeing the Divine Image in India by Harvard scholar Diana L. Eck and quotes Meister Eckhart: "The eye with which you see God is the same eye with which God sees you."

Labels: Creative Arts, Thomas Moore
"Andrew Machon has a strong imaginal eye that looks at the world in a fresh and probing way. It is his images, so magnetic and stirring, so simple and yet so fresh, that draw me to his work. They show us what the world is and at the same time change it, giving it a new imaginal texture. We need this fresh imagination so that we don’t live in a stale universe of meaning. Life moves along, and our imagination has to keep pace.Moore’s preface includes,
There are inspiring images of nature in this book, but also chairs and manikins and ruins. Both nature and culture have a secret depth that can only be revealed by art and contemplation. Both natural objects and manufactured things have a soul, a mysterious depth that contains a secret vitality that we all need in order to be persons and personalities, subjects rather than objects."
"A long tradition holds that art has powers of healing. If that is true, then this book should contribute to the healing of our troubled society. But how would this work, specifically and concretely? Readers could take time to contemplate the images and let the originality of the photographs make a slight change in vision. The artifice in the images, the fact that they have been “doctored” and processed, gives them the power to propose a new world. They may take you further into experience than you have ventured before, and that inward advance may be healing."A Difference of One: rediscovering a loving and creative originality mirrors Machon's desire to provide "insight into the emergent and organic nature of individual and organisational change to foster how we work with change and discover its meaning."
Labels: Contribution, Preface, Thomas Moore
"Many people seem to think of spirituality as ethereal, remote, and abstract. They think it has to do with meditating, depriving yourself, and becoming as virtuous as possible. But traditional teachings around the world suggest that spirituality is directly connected to the most ordinary human activities. When you’re a parent, you don’t have to go in search of ways of depriving yourself, and if by chance you should ever feel virtuous about your self-deprivations, your children will take that feeling away from you, too.He further suggests, "Spiritual vision gives valuable emotional distance, disentangles your own past experiences and your complex emotions, so that you don’t pile them up on your child. In this way, spirit and soul work together to make good parenting."
You have to be a guide for your child in the things that matter most: safety, health, learning, growing up, having a life vision, and living ethically. Who else has such a profound and far-reaching job? Parenthood is a calling — a way to find meaning in your own life. Spirituality is about transcending any limits on your vision. Raising a child, you are contributing to society and to the future. You are going beyond yourself, not just in your thoughts and ideals but in a real and tangible way. You may not be certain that you’re doing the right thing always, and you may never see the full fruits of your effort. So you live by faith, and isn’t that the essence of the spiritual life?
All the details of being a parent — cleaning, teaching, picking up, driving, paying for school and lessons, guiding, counseling, feeding, clothing, and entertaining — take on a spiritual dimension. You are doing them to transform a child into a thoughtful and engaged adult. You are ministering. You are a priest and priestess. You are unfolding the work you began when in the holy act of sex you made a person with a soul and spirit."
Labels: Children, Thomas Moore
"There will be dialogues and discussions on Hillmanean topics (no formal papers or lectures), a sharing of ideas, images and conversations in the midst of genial collegiality and friendship. James Hillman will be present along with his family, friends, colleagues, a group of archetypal authors, analysts, artists, poets and philosophers, including Hillman’s official biographer. There will also be a group of entertainers helping to make this event a very special gathering.An online registration form for the June event is available at the bottom of the linked page.
The event will correspond with the release of a book tentatively entitled Archetypal Psychologies: Reflections in honor of James Hillman, edited by Stanton Marlan, which celebrates Hillman's work and the influence it has had in informing numerous psychological perspectives. It is anticipated that many of the authors will be present at this gathering, which include David Miller, Ed Casey, Ginette Paris, Mary Watkins, Michael Adams, Wolfgang Giegerich, Stanton Marlan, Michael Sipiora, Noel Cobb, Glen Slater, Ron Schenk, Pat Berry, Lyn Cowan, Greg Mogenson, Nor Hall, Tom Kapacinskas, Thomas Moore, Robert Romanyshyn, Sanford Drob, Sylvester Wojtkowski, Paul Kugler, Kazuhiko Higuchi, Toshio Kawai, Dick Russell and Robbie Bosnak."
Labels: Event, Thomas Moore
"A job is never just a job. It is always connected to a deep and invisible process of finding meaning in life through work.We haven't heard from Random House, yet, if an author tour is planned for this release.
In Thomas Moore’s groundbreaking book Care of the Soul, he wrote of "the great malady of the twentieth century…the loss of soul." That best selling work taught readers ways to cultivate depth, genuineness, and soulfulness in their everyday lives, and became a beloved classic. Now, in A Life’s Work, Moore turns to an aspect of our lives that looms large in our self-regard, an aspect by which we may even define ourselves—our work. The workplace, Moore knows, is a laboratory where matters of soul are worked out. A Life’s Work is about finding the right job, yes, and it is also about uncovering and becoming the person you were meant to be.
Moore reveals the quest to find a life’s work in all its depth and mystery. All jobs, large and small, long-term and temporary, he writes, contribute to your life’s work. A particular job may be important because of the emotional rewards it offers or for the money. But beneath the surface, your labors are shaping your destiny for better or worse. If you ignore the deeper issues, you may not know the nature of your calling, and if you don’t do work that connects with your deep soul, you may always be dissatisfied, not only in your choice of work but in all other areas of life. Moore explores the often difficult process—the obstacles, blocks, and hardships of our own making—that we go through on our way to discovering our purpose, and reveals the joy that is our reward. He teaches us patience, models the necessary powers of reflection, and gives us the courage to keep going."
Labels: A Life at Work, Thomas Moore
"Uncomfortable, symptomatic emotions are usually not character flaws, but raw material in need of refinement. If you worry about pride, yet feel worthless, you need to refine both feelings. Raw pride can’t handle defeat and runs away from it; raw worthlessness implodes. Going with the symptom of pride can help you locate a more expansive self-love; following worthlessness may lead to healthy questioning. Going with the symptom, you become a "big" person.Moore then talks about a related desire for recognition:
Most people I know are too small. They believe they have a limited destiny and little to give to the world. They don’t see how their small ideas can make a real contribution. Transferring their personal authority to someone else — a leader, a writer, or an organization — they give away too much. Identifying themselves as followers, they look to someone "above" them for permission to be who they are or do what they want, and they may draw their confidence from their associations rather than from themselves."
"Closely related to the minor neurosis of pride and worthlessness is the desire for fame and recognition. Some people crave the fame and finances of the privileged few, and their painful awareness of being a "nobody" keeps them from accomplishing much.He concludes, "Pride and craving attention can be problems; nevertheless, they are an invitation to be big even in the small contours of our lives. The solution to having a big ego is to have a big heart."
Again, go with the symptom — the desire for attention. You may have to study, train, and get experience so you can accomplish something and enjoy the appropriate recognition. Sometimes a desire for fame is simply the heart speaking. Most of us need recognition. Recognition and fame are worthy goals for your dedication and hard work.
Parents, teachers, and leaders of all kinds might take this lesson to heart. It’s important to offer words of praise and recognition. It does no good to keep your feelings of gratitude and appreciation to yourself. We all need and even crave recognition. It helps us move on to the next job, and it makes us just a little bigger."
Labels: Spirituality
"... you meet him first in a public place, perhaps bringing a friend of yours with you. At the very least, tell a good friend when and where you are meeting."Moore urges her to share her ideas about sex with her new friend,
"You're clear that you don't want casual sex. If you continue to exchange emails, you can let him know how you feel about it. You can be clear and brief and then go on to other things. If you're worried about the sexual part and don't say anything, it will be the elephant on the screen and may interfere. A man worth knowing shouldn't be put off by a brief, clearly stated expression of how you feel about sex."In general, Moore recommends that her responses "be strong, assertive, and clear" and that she present herself as a confident, equal participant in the getting-to-know-you dance.
Many people in difficult marriages or going through divorce will tell you that they married before they were both ready. Timing is an important part of life.His short anwer? Yes, move on and find someone else. Be the first to post a comment beside Moore's column or post a comment at Barque: Thomas Moore Forum.
Many studies have suggested that the maturity of the individuals in a marriage is a key factor in its success. You have to be ready as a person to enter the deep change that is marriage. Marriage is not just a living arrangement; it is a major turning point in life and a deeply mysterious third thing that arises when two people decide to enter into it. I suspect that many marriages fail because people don't understand how profound and mysterious it actually is.
"When your love is substantial and solid, you have to be both attached and willing to let the other person freely make life decisions that go against your will and desire. Most of us would like to possess and even rule over our partners and lovers, but that isn't real love.Moore asks, "Do you think you could find it in yourself to acknowledge the strength and importance of your emotions and the role of this man in your life, and at the same time understand that he is living his own life and has made a choice in a direction away from you?"
Love is always complex and paradoxical: a mixture of deep attachment and a willingness to let life flow, in oneself and in the other. This is a maturity of love you arrive at through painful initiations of the kind you are experiencing now."
"During the past year, I have visited many medical schools and hospitals, lecturing on the soul and spirit in medicine. I know from years of acquaintance with the medical world that the soul-withering aspects of science contaminate the work of doctors and other medical personnel. So when I lectured at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota recently, I urged the staff to return to their sense of calling and to the images and longings they felt when they first entered medical school.Moore says, "Children and adults need recess, art, spirituality, and a magical, soulful life. At the moment, science is too anxious about verification and absolute certitude to be able to offer such things."
A surgeon at the Mayo Clinic, picking up on my message, told me how he feels alienated from his patients by an intrusive piece of equipment. His solution is to put a powerful painting on the wall to offset the mechanical hardware. I call this creative response to the intrusiveness of science the "Burne-Jones Effect." Edward Burne-Jones was the pre-Raphaelite painter of dolorous scenes of redheaded women and chivalrous men who seem a bit more soulful than is seemly. My wife, a serious painter and professor of art history, doesn’t see much value in Burne-Jones and his friends, but when I attended an exhibition of his work at the Metropolitan Museum in New York, I thought I might faint — in pre-Raphaelite style — from the sheer intensity of color and form. Burne-Jones once said, "The more discoveries science makes, the more angels I will paint." This is the principle I adopt and recommend to anyone whose soul is being sucked out by the enthronement of fact."
"Maybe the soul enlarges and deepens from the sheer room it takes to be sad and to nurse precious memories. Maybe it even makes sense for us to talk to our departed friends and somehow to keep up the relationships, without any bother from the intellect about how such a thing may or may not work or whether it's sentimental or self-deceptive."Moore emphasizes a theme found in Dark Nights of the Soul: "You let life flow through you, making you more and more human."
"Don’t split the betrayer/betrayed pattern into you on one side, your partner on the other. Realize that you, too, could betray someone one day because of your passion or plans or because you can’t see any other way. Having a more complex emotional position like this can really help.Dogs are known for their loyalty so it may be a misnomer for people who stray.
If, after all this, you discover that the particular person you’re with seems to have no interest in loyalty and faithfulness, be strong and find someone who is more mature and more prepared to settle into a lasting union. Wait for the kind of person you want. But while you wait, work on your life. Make it more interesting so that people will need some security from you and will be motivated to share the emotional power with you."
"You could imagine love as made up of unconditional and conditional components, but the truth is, I don't like to use these words. "Unconditional" suggests perfection--not the human condition. Let's try "open" and "undefensive" love. You can find such love with people today, but it will always be mixed up with some hesitation, holding back, and illusion.Read Moore's full answer and add your comments to the discussion area.
Love is dynamic. It can keep getting better as people get to know each other. But that implies that it's not perfect in its beginnings. It needs room to grow.
This kind of realistic, imperfect, growing love is much better than the extreme romanticism of pulp novels. Realism adds to the pleasure, because when you acknowledge the holes and dents, your love isn't threatened by illusions of perfection."
We can shed the narcissistic secularity of the times and step outside the circle of self-regard that contains us. Parents can take on the joys and the weight of their spiritual calling and help their children sort out their values and find their active place in a needy society. Teachers can understand that theirs is a spiritual calling: They are not just imparting information but initiating children into a world where they will be leaders in their own ways. Businesspeople can see that in a materialistic approach to society, their efforts are merely for money, self-advancement, and personal success. If they can appreciate the spirituality in their daily work, they might enjoy a position of leadership where they can contribute directly to a society of peace, equality, and security.Thomas Moore's column for January-February 2007, which will be available at the end of February, is titled, "Growing through Grief."
We followers, members of the community, can go all out in honoring those who demonstrate spiritual vision and a big soul. We can also voice our concern when leaders fail in that vision and immaturely confuse personal gain with the joy of community. In other words, you — whoever you are — have a spiritual calling. You have a role in your family and community to lead with a big vision and deep values, not with ideological moralism. It does little good to wait for a leader like Gandhi or Martin Luther King. You can begin today to lead with wide open and transcendent vision, deep ethics, and tender compassion. You can also encourage your leaders to do the same, transforming self-interest into radical care for every person, every being, and the planet itself. Anything less is not worthy of being called leadership in a time of urgent need and threat to life.”
"It seems easier to kill thousands of people, the innocent as well as the violent, than to face our own gross biases and ignorance. In the Bhagavad Gita, that powerful book of instruction on how to be a person, Krishna tells Arjuna that if he wins on the actual battlefield, he will gain the earth. If he loses, he will gain heaven. Arjuna has to come a long way to understand that paradox.His offering in the current issue, "The Spirituality in Leadership," will be available near the end of the year to readers who register (free) on the Spirituality & Health site.
America has accomplished a great deal for the human soul and spirit in its brief existence, but in many ways it is like Arjuna at the beginning of his lessons. He's confused about where the real battle takes place and what it means to win and lose. America has fought too many wars and still believes that the killing of children and their mothers and brothers is justified and even virtuous when there is an enemy to annihilate. There is no Krishna on the horizon to instruct us in the subtleties of the spiritual life, no one to convince us that victory is always defeat.
We think that it is weakness to avoid the actuality of bloodshed, that patriotism means having a human enemy other than ourselves. Currently, America seems to be picking fights, wanting blood, finding glory in having an enemy with a foreign face. But all of this literalism, this acting-out of what should be spiritual struggle over narcissistic passions, shows how far we have to go before we truly discover the meaning of spirituality."
"Practicality and the exploitation of resources make it difficult to find enchantment in the modern world. Few things are as densely infused with spirit as a river, yet in town after town our rivers are hidden behind industry and commerce. A river could be the main source of soul in a village or town, but it has to be honored as something special, even magical, or it succumbs to pragmatism and efficiency. If I had the power to restore soul to America, I would start with its rivers, cleaning them up and making them beautifully accessible.To access Spirituality & Health's archival articles, please complete that site's free registration form.
But enchantment is not to be discovered only in the natural world. Ficino considered architecture the most powerful of the arts. A building can put you under a spell by its materials and forms. Or, it may be built to be merely practical. In that difference lies its soulfulness or lack of soul, its ability to waken the soul and spirit or its power to put them to sleep. To know the difference and to construct enchanting buildings, you need depth of feeling and imagination.
The life of soul and spirit is not an abstract enterprise, a matter of knowledge and intention. It is a life of intense sensual engagement with the local, physical world around you. For a soulful world is a kind of incarnation of spirit and a spiritualizing of material. As Jung said, the soul isn't in you; you are in the soul."
"... learn how to be loyal to yourself — and especially to whatever qualities are being challenged. Find the strength to be firm in who you are no matter what someone else might say. Criticism is always a two-way street: one person complains, and then the other person caves in under the attack. Your job is not to cave in but to be proud of who you are."Moore makes the simple and significant observation,
"In every marriage, a lot of people come together and get entangled in each other's lives — the two people exchanging vows, family members both close and distant, friends, animals, and even the inner figures that play a part in the lives of us all (your inner mother,weakling, hero, or adventurer, for example). So your starting point should be to be realistic about the future: If you get married, you'll be connected to your fiancé's family, including his sister, for the rest of your life."In addition to urging the writer to voice her concerns and seek support from her fiancé, Moore shares his approach,
"I work by the principle, 'Go with the symptom.' If you feel too emotional, the solution is not to try to be cool and contained. Instead, you should respect your feelings: speak for them, make them known, use them as guides to let you know what you need. In other words, it's time to flex your psychological muscles."Be the first to respond with your own views in the sidebar.
"Solid, engaged, mature, and thoughtful love can surmount many challenging obstacles. You need a philosophy, some good ideas deeply developed with your partner, to get you through years of complicated situations. You can do it, but now is the time to establish the foundation . . .Readers respond to the situation and to Moore’s answer in the sidebar.
Remember to take life as it presents itself, not as you might idealize it. Open your heart, but don't close off your intelligence and your ability to be critical. Trust wisely with loving acceptance and forceful attention. . ."
"Let me paraphrase the first words I ever read by Marsilio Ficino, spokesperson for soul in fifteenth-century Italy. He begins his book on natural magic saying, "There are three things in the world: body, soul, and mind [later he refers to mind and spirit interchangeably]. If the spirit is left to itself, it will have no connection with the body. If the body is left to itself, it will have no tie to the spirit. What is needed is soul, between them and adjusted to each."
We have a good picture of the deep soul from the works of C. G. Jung, James Hillman, and others. It is the very depth of a person: the emotions and ties, the failures and fears, a sense of home and body, all intimate connections, dreams, loves, and reveries. Tradition says that this deep soul makes us human and unique. The soul is embedded in our everyday, ordinary, imperfect concrete world.
The spirit, in contrast, gives us cosmic vision, inspiration, principles for good living, a way to deal with our mortality, and the sense of unbounded transcendence. Both soul and spirit are essential and animate the body."
"For myself, I can’t imagine being in a budge-less marriage. Marriage is all about budging and allowing room for two thoughtful and complicated adults to work out their lives in love and real companionship."Add your views to the side panel on the Beliefnet site.
"People intrude on us either because they think they can get away with it or because they assume more intimacy than is warranted."Then he suggests ways for two people to see themselves together,
"A relationship is made up of two parts: each individual and their life together. If either of these components gets lost, you no longer have a relationship. Some people say a couple is two halves making a whole, but I think it’s two wholes making a loving two. Couples getting married sometimes quote Kahlil Gibran, "And stand together, yet not too near together. For the pillars of the temple stand apart." Or Rainer Maria Rilke, "love is not merging; it is the opportunity for the individual to become something himself." I’d recommend reading Rilke’s letter on love in Letters to a Young Poet. There, he offers many insights into this issue of love and privacy.Readers respond with their own experiences and advice to the young woman.
I believe that love between two people is having a passionate interest in each other, and yet respecting each other’s mystery. We will never know our partners completely, and that’s the way it should be."
"Being shy with women can be a big problem, especially when the shyness is extreme. But as you allude in your letter, shyness can also be a strength. There are many ways of being a strong and interesting person, and being shy rather than outgoing is one of them. We shy people — I include myself in this category — can be great companions. We can love and be attentive and enjoy life. In fact, shyness is often just a way of keeping the lid on a powerful love of life and deep desire for sex and companionship. As always, things are often the opposite of what they appear to be."Readers are invited to contribute their views.
"It's important to spend time enjoying taking care of your body, not just for health but also for comfort and pampering. We live in a world that has adopted anti-Venusian values to live by and fails to see the virtue in simple bodily pleasures. Some identify spirituality with disregard for the simple pleasure of Venus. Maybe that is because Venus is a goddess or spirit of the deep soul rather than the sublime spirit. I might go so far as to say that good bathing might tame our tendencies toward violence. There is an ancient tradition that Venus calms the excited and warlike urges of Mars.Moore asks readers to reconsider what we feel while we become naked,
Just as a church might have a holy tabernacle and a Jewish temple sacred scrolls, so Aphrodite has her own spiritual implements: soaps, cosmetics, oils, fragrances, sponges, and towels. The tub is like a baptismal font, a good moisturiser, a kind of blessed oil. In Aphrodite's realm a luxurious towel may be as precious as a holy book."
"The simple act of disrobing is a Venusian gesture. It is probably difficult for most modern people to appreciate this shift in focus from shame to appreciation and from purity to sensuality. But to remain only in the religion of reserve and bodilessness is to deprive spirituality of its physicality, leaving it abstract and severe. Take away any degree of moralistic concern that has been forced on you, and see how the simple act of disrobing stirs your feelings."This historical split between pleasure and "an unnecessarily spartan spirituality" is a theme echoed elsewhere in Moore’s writings and he says why it bothers him: "It falsely separated body from spirit, thereby allowing no place for the soul."

"To deal effectively with our personal tragedies and society's violence, we need a more sophisticated image of God. Stop using "he" or even "she," and immediately you have a more mysterious notion of divinity. Imagine God as the creating spark of this world or as the source of life, and you let go of the anthropomorphisms, the too-human images that reduce the idea of God to a mere projection of our reality and our wishes..."As a response to this notion, he suggests,
"Religion does a disservice when it gives us childish notions of a God in the sky who will save us from human insanity. We have to be fully part of this world and take on our responsibility, doing everything possible to prevent wars and make people safe. Maybe we won't ever solve our problems completely, but we can make progress toward that goal..."
"Naïve notions of God are dangerous today, as well. God is the source of life, which is fragile. If we give up the notion of a grandfather in the sky and replace it with a deep sense of the mystery at the heart of things, we might understand the importance of our efforts to make this world safe for us all. A childish notion of God keeps our religion childish."
"We need images for the infinite, at the edge of which we live every moment of our lives. We need help maintaining a personal relationship with our mysterious God.Moore concludes,
...we have to empty out our images at the very moment we employ them. We can't take them as fact. We have to see through them even as we find God through them. Maybe it would help to remember that God is there beneath all images and names we have for "him." But paradoxically, we can only come close to that God when we give up any names or images we have and to which we have become attached — which is any image at all."
"As my heart grows bigger, the language I use for God becomes that much more accurate, and therefore, that much more undefined."
"You don’t hear much about masochism in the popular press, but it is a human tendency of great importance. The workable blend of strength and vulnerability, courage and fear, trust and suspicion that allows us to deal with life’s challenges can often fall apart. A split develops, and strength is no longer tempered by vulnerability. We divide into doers and the done-to, agents and victims, the powerful and the fearful, instead of keeping these strong emotions in tension within ourselves.Readers are encouraged to write their reaction to Moore's observations.
A good film could tell the story of 9/11 in a way that would help us think through the issues without becoming further divided in ourselves. It could offer some insight and the beginning, at least, of a narrative that would help us restore our world, find our optimism, and constructively deal with any problems that may have led to the tragedy. It could help us transform the anxiety created by 9/11 into character, our only hope for a better world.
A bad film will keep us split internally, sustain our fear and belligerence, and prevent us from dealing effectively with the complicated world situation that led to 9/11 and its aftermath. It may open up fear and anger and paranoia in a way that takes us back into raw emotion rather than forward into thoughtful reflection. Catharsis often requires revisiting a memory, but not literally. We need to feel the emotions in a context of open wonder rather than victimization and vengeance."
"Fundamentalism in religion is a defensive move that comes from fear of the other. Those who believe that God is on their side, that whatever they say is divinely sanctioned and it’s their right to force it on the world, become violent and aggressive in defending their anxious beliefs. But rather than vilify fundamentalists, I think it would be more effective to admit we are all fundamentalists on some level. We all adhere to certain beliefs and language. Such fundamentalisms get in the way of an open and adventurous spiritual life...Moore recommends:
The conflict between science and fundamentalism is rooted in faulty literalism and a refusal to recognize nuances in meaning. There is no essential contradiction between science and religion, only a misunderstanding of the difference between religious mystery and scientific fact.
When you talk about mystery, which is what religion largely is all about, you need art and poetry and language that doesn’t quite say everything you wish you could say, but attempts to express individual insights while remaining open to interpretation. All psalms, all prayers, all religious art and architecture are symbolic, poetic, imagistic. Because religion is concerned with the most subtle and complex of mysteries, it is the very essence of religious expression to be poetic...
Spirituality really means transcending the self so we can be open to people around us who have a vision of the world and of community that is beyond the individual. This is a state some people have called God, but it is the unnameable, the unknown, and the mysterious...
If spirituality isn’t concrete and a part of every aspect of daily life, it isn’t worth more than a good idea. If it doesn’t get you beyond your preoccupation with self, it isn’t really spirituality, it is an illusion."
"At one time in our lives, most of us feel the pain of loving someone who is not available or who doesn't have the feelings for us we wish they had. You probably understand that it is self-centered and usually futile to force you attentions on such a person. The most difficult lesson in love is to protect the freedom of the one you love."Moore then recommends approaches for Kim to generate love in her life, albeit in ways that may expand the initial response to her sense of emptiness.:
"A forest, a mountain, the sea — they are still the haunts of healing, humanizing spirits. Why else do people flock to Cape Cod and the Rockies and the red mesas of New Mexico? These spirits are not supernatural, science fiction, or superstitious beings of belief. They are felt presences emanating sensually and spiritually from specific forms of nature itself. To an imagination steeped in sacredness, there is no separation of spirituality and physicality.
We need access to clean rivers to remember that our lives continually flow on. We need a virgin forest to remember that in a deep place our souls are untouched and untutored. We need a beautiful lake to remember that the spirit thrives in nature's beauty. If we continue to interfere with nature's job to teach us how to be spiritual, all of our labyrinths and zendos and yoga studios and Bible classes will become hollow and ungrounded."
“Remember, there is a difference between inhibition and anxiety. Your doubts could be serving you well, slowing you down, and maybe even directing you out of this relationship. Anxieties about getting married are very different. They are like static. They don't guide you, they confuse you.”Don’t be remote. Keep the channels open.
"A general principle we can take from Freud is that love sparks imagination into extraordinary states. Being "in love" is like being "in imagination." The literal concerns of everyday life, yesterday such a preoccupation, now practically disappear in the rush of love's daydreams. Concrete reality recedes as the imaginal world settles in. Thus, the "divine madness" of love is akin to the mania of paranoia and other dissociations.
Does this mean that we need to be cured of this madness? Robert Burton in The Anatomy of Melancholy says that there is only one cure for the melancholic sickness of love: enter into it with abandon. Some authors today argue that romantic love is such an illusion that we need to distrust it and keep our wits about us so that we are not led astray. But warnings like this betray distrust of the soul. We may need to be cured by love of our attachment to life without fantasy. Maybe one function of love is to cure us of an anemic imagination, a life emptied of romantic attachment and abandoned to reason.
Love releases us into the realm of divine imagination, where the soul is expanded and reminded of its unearthly cravings and needs. We think that when a lover inflates his loved one he is failing to acknowledge her flaws - "love is blind." But it may be the other way around. Love allows a person to see the true angelic nature of another person, the halo, the aureole of divinity. Certainly from the perspective of ordinary life this is madness and illusion. But if we let loose our hold on philosophies and psychologies of enlightenment and reason, we might learn to appreciate the perspective of eternity that enters life as madness, Plato's divine frenzy.
Love brings consciousness closer to the dream state. In that sense, it may reveal more than it distorts, as a dream reveals - poeticaly,suggestively, and, admittedly, obscurely. If we were to appreciate truly the Platonic theory of love, we might also learn to see other forms of madness, such as paranoia and addiction, as evidence of the soul's reaching toward its proper yearnings. Platoninc love is not love without sex. It is love that finds in the body and in the human relationship a route toward eternity. In his book on love, Convivium - his answer to Plato's Symposium - Ficino, who is credited with coining the phrase "Platonic love," says concisely, "The soul is partly in eternity and partly in time." Love straddles these two dimensions, opening a way to live in both simultaneously. But incursions of eternity into life are usually unsettling, for they disturb our plans and shake the tranquility we have achieved with earthly reason.
In order to appreciate the mystery of love, we have to give up the idea that love is a psychological problem and that with enough reading and guidance we can finally do it right, without illusion and folly. We do not care for the soul by shrinking it down to reasonable size. Our era's preoccupation with mental hygiene encourages us to think of all forms of mania as disease. But Plato's divine madness is not pathological in our hygienic sense, but more an opening into eternity. It is a relief from the stringent limits of pragmatic, sanitized life. It is a door that opens out from human reason into divine mystery."
"You might also consider that when people who are intimately involved with each other have to communicate at a distance, fantasy has a lot of room to cause mischief. People begin to imagine all kinds of things about each other."He says,
"Clear, stark, honest, plain language, even if it is about your confusion, may clear up some of the tangled feelings and provide the emotional basis for making some practical decisions."Moore concludes,
"You can have complicated feelings and still speak clearly. You can be loving and also firm."Readers are invited to post their reactions to the question and Moore's response. Be the first.
"A relationship starts with two individuals. Rather than wait for the other to wake up and make a move, it might be useful to use your intelligence in all aspects of your life and take yourself more seriously. Anyone who waits four years for a romance to take root isn't giving her own life the attention it needs. In a stalled relationship, it may help more to focus on your own life than to try to engineer the relationship to the place you want. I'd say, be involved in your world. Have a more adult view of religion. Get stronger, more solid, and develop an edge."He advises a Beliefnet reader to stop temporizing about her four-year attraction to a man at her church.
I’ll accept that Narnia is the world of imagination that resides like a Jungian unconscious beneath ordinary life. But it is not a pleasant place! This is a terrifying movie. I wouldn’t bring little children to it. Not only because of its violence and war mania, but also because it offers no real resolution. It ends, as all wars do, with victors and the vanquished, waiting to see who will fight the next one. The lion is made to sound wise and evolved, but he does little more than strut, make grand entrances and exits, and encourage military mayhem. A Christ-figure, some have said. Hardly."Beliefnet readers eagerly respond with their own interpretations.
"Guilt is a kind of protection. Sometimes people feel guilty when they don't allow themselves to be guilty. I'm not suggesting that you go ahead and have an affair. I mean guilt about being yourself and paying attention to your own needs and desires. Sexual fantasy is often more about deep and broad desire than about having sex with another person ... Eroticism doesn't have to be sexual. You can be erotic -- energetic, full of passion, and seeking pleasure -- in everything you do."Beliefnet encourages readers to post their own reactions beside Moore's response.
"This sense of being in a dilemma means two things: It may be only the beginning of a process, and it may require more probing and talking... The sense of being in a dilemma can blind you to alternatives, so I'd suggest that you break out of the dilemma altogether. Open yourself to alternatives. Honor your heart and honor your career hopes. Go for both with passion. I would bet that if you turn up the heat on the situation, a solution will appear."Moore asks his own questions, suggesting that the staffer's answers will help her to decide what to do.
"I believe that my mother had an intelligence about spiritual matters that was grounded in her experience. In my shift toward old age, I intend to look carefully at the lessons she taught me and appreciate her kind of sophistication."Moore says that his connection with his mother has intensified since her death and that, perhaps, by honouring the dead, we may expand our compassion for the living.
"I think it’s quite wonderful to choose to be a traditional woman, provided you update the idea of what "traditional" means and clear it out of any ingredients that make you feel used and exploited. By traditional, maybe you mean making a good home, caring for your spouse, and letting him make choices, about vacations, for instance. But I don’t think any traditional woman wants to feel like a maid and get no help from her spouse.
Besides, in some ways you are not traditional. You’re making more money than your husband and you are competent at your job, whereas he is not. Maybe it’s time to take a less simplistic view of marriage. Maybe it isn’t enough to be traditional, but to also be a new kind of woman, one who won’t tolerate bearing the entire financial weight of a marriage and the sole responsibility for making the home livable and gracious. As much as the desire to be traditional can enrich your life, and perhaps tie it back to your memories of family, it may need to be made more sophisticated with new ideas and arrangements."

