Sunday, October 30, 2005

Unhappy in an exploited union with a lazy slob

For his Relationship column with Beliefnet, Thomas Moore considers a situation where the husband, described as unsupportive and inconsiderate at home, is a failure at business and pressures his successful wife to satisfy the family’s financial needs. Moore answers her question: "Am I wrong for resenting our marriage?" while suggesting a reorientation of her self-identity as “a traditional woman.”

Moore writes:
"I think it’s quite wonderful to choose to be a traditional woman, provided you update the idea of what "traditional" means and clear it out of any ingredients that make you feel used and exploited. By traditional, maybe you mean making a good home, caring for your spouse, and letting him make choices, about vacations, for instance. But I don’t think any traditional woman wants to feel like a maid and get no help from her spouse.

Besides, in some ways you are not traditional. You’re making more money than your husband and you are competent at your job, whereas he is not. Maybe it’s time to take a less simplistic view of marriage. Maybe it isn’t enough to be traditional, but to also be a new kind of woman, one who won’t tolerate bearing the entire financial weight of a marriage and the sole responsibility for making the home livable and gracious. As much as the desire to be traditional can enrich your life, and perhaps tie it back to your memories of family, it may need to be made more sophisticated with new ideas and arrangements."

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Silence fleeting during daily, noisy agitation

Resurgence's November-December 2005 issue has Thomas Moore's Deep Spirit column: The Silence of Sounds. Moore talks about the role of sound in daily life and the fullness of its absence. Accompanying poetry by Pablo Neruda sensitively expresses a shared understanding of quiet.

For once on the face of the Earth
let's not speak in any language,
let's stop for one second,
and not move our arms so much.

It would be an exotic moment
without rush, without engines,
we would all be together
in a sudden strangeness.

For a supportive view, read Joseph Dispenza's article "What the World may Need Most is... Silence".

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Vulnerabilty and strength are like yin and yang

Recent world events contribute to feelings of anxiety and depression in the United States these days according to Thomas Moore in his recent Spirituality column for Beliefnet In the Belly of the Whale. Moore talks about the complementary roles of vlunerability and strength and how this togetherness is supported in religious writings from different traditions.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Spiritual sex + Erotic spirit = Living with soul

In the Fall 2005 issue of Tango Magazine, Thomas Moore talks about Spiritual Sex. He describes his ten Erotic Commandments in a sidebar:
1. Ethics: Be honest, respectful and kind to your partner.
2. Partnership: Share your intelligence, culture, ideas, values and talents.
3. Vision: Show interest in life, meaning and the world.
4. Contemplation: Step outside ordinary reality.
5. Ritual: Be mindful of nonpractical aspects.
6. Generosity: Offer abundant feeling, intelligence and equality to your partner.
7. Beauty: See the beauty of the body in small gestures.
8. Prayer: Appreciate the power of sex to express love and to form unions.
9. Devotion: Evoke the spirit or goddess of sex.
10. Community: Be joyful with others in society.
Moore says, "I think of a human being as always, in every instance, made up of body, soul, and spirit. There is no such thing as purely physical love, because we are more than physical. So be prepared for a broader notion of what sex is all about."